i'm hired !

Yeay finally i was hired at Famous Amos yesterday and today i started my training.

but as the first job i've ever had, it is so so soooo tiring !
i baked, i was the cashier and i also needed to count stocks.
i literally collapsed once i arrived home.
but yeah it was fun though.

i applied for many many jobs and actually was called for 3 of em
Delifrance, J.co and Famous Amos.
i chose Famous Amos because it was the closest to my house
a bit disappointed though that Baskin Robbins didn't have any vacancies. oh well, Famous Amos is fun enough.

before started working, i sort of kind of got obsessed with making friendship bracelets.


i've made only 2 though, cause i've been busy with work.
in fact, i'm making another one now, since my work starts late tomorrow so i couldn't be bothered at what time i'll sleep tonight.

hope this one turns out pretty :)

♥ ♥ ♥

nothing makes me happier than spending a whole day at my Opah's house with my cousins, eventhough it was just a few of us cause most of em are busy with their exams. i love love love them so so much :) aww guys, you made my day.




**Happy Birthday Ayish ! Happy 18th :) May all your wishes come true. don't grow taller please. it's getting hard to talk to you hehe. love u cous ♥

see u guys in 2 weeks. everyone will be there. fun fun fun !

goodbye lullaby

it's the title of Avril's new album which has been on replay on my Ipod for a moment now. The songs in this album is really sincere and Avril seemed kind of vulnerable by the way she wrote the lyrics. Mainly the songs are about saying goodbye, missing someone and moving forward. can't blame her because she was actually having a rough time with Deryck Whibley and they finally divorced. but hey, the good thing is she came out with an uh-mazing album. my fave from her's to date. however there are some fast track songs, like the song called "I Love You". It's a sweet song with cute lyrics "The reason I love you is you being you". some people say that Taylor Swift is good at writing her emotions, but in my opinion the title goes to Avril.

ironically, Sum 41 released their new album too which sounds friggin great. but Deryck kind of poured his heart out too in the lyrics. i guess he's sad that Avril left him. but great album! somehow, the songs sound more mature than previous albums.


**my personal winner track from Goodbye Lullaby is "Wish You Were Here". The song being played on my blog.

boomchickawowwow

sleeping is nice. you forget about everything for a little while. i need this now. i can't stand lying on my bed alone, constantly thinking of someone. it feels, depressing.


i keep telling myself "this is the last time", but it just keeps happening.



**i need to change my ways, instead of always being weak

swing swing

hari ni pun seronok jugak. i woke up early, picked up farah and drove to Tasik Permaisuri to JOG haha. oh and mimi was waiting for us there. eleh tapi berapa round sgt pun kitorang jog. we ended up playing on swings and chit chatting mainly talking about having boyfriends where we 3 pathetically don't own any hehe. tapi ada pulak sorang pekerja tasik tu blow blow daun kemain lama using that leaf-blower (idk what it's really called). bising so we couldn't hear ourselves and decided to move our butts to Kayu. kononnya nak minum minum air je. eventually the 3 of us ended up eating one Roti Petak each. i know i know, baik tak payah jogging haha. but what the heck, screw jogging. it was actually fun meeting tham and just y'know, talk .


oh and then around 3 i went somewhere with someone. it was the highlight of the day actually, even if i felt like smacking myself in the face for even going. ok i'm starting to sound delusional. so what, my blog. okay so long king kong .

Mr. Bean

okay this is like super friggin funny. i mean, seriously ! i was ROFL-ing watching this. apa kebenda entah dia ni. but aww, i think he was just nervous and cat caught his tongue. tapi ni patut masuk Maharaja Lawak :D

you make me smile

Today was fun !

i met Amar today because he wanted me to join something. the whole time i was with him, i was literally laughing my ass off. i mean, seriously laughing until i kind of snorted haha. and you know what? it felt soooo good ! one of the things that couldn't make me stop laughing was when he said

amar : lagi 3 hari

me : 3 hari untuk apa
amar : entah. hari apa ntah lg 3 hari
me : eh. apa dia ?
amar : tak tahu ke? takpelah
mira : apa dia?
amar : betul tak tahu?
(i was thinking hard, then suddenly it got me)
me : hahahaha. amar, birthday kita 20 may lah. bukan april
amar : eh. sekarang bukan may ke?
me : hahahahahahaha. confident pulak tu '3 hari 3 hari' haha
amar : dah lah tu gelak. buat buat ama tak tanya soalan tu

**i couldn't stop laughing, seeing his embarrassed face

i haven't laughed that much for a terribly long long period of time. it felt like the hugest weight was lifted off my shoulders, ya know? i guess it's true about what people say. Laughter is the best medicine. i just wish he was around more often. it's been a long time since we last met and i kind of miss talking and laughing like that everyday we meet. i wish he lived next door to me. hes like a brother from a different mother.

so anyways, we did alot of catching up. and one thing we talked alot abt was how i was doing. how he was disappointed that i haven't moved on. that he said its ridiculous that it's been over a year and i'm still hanging on to L. he gave me opinions from a guys perspective, he made me stop and think. he opened my eyes. lately, the only person i talk about L is with emira nabila (wouldn't know what i'd do without her) and my blog. mind me, i'm not trying to tell the world. i don't even tell people to read my posts. it's just that i like expressing here. it's kind of a relief, ya know?

amar made me realize that moving on is worth it, and gave me a whole lot of reasons why. amar said that sometimes a guy may take advantage on the weakest person he knows. and that weak person is me. the fact that he knows that i'll always be there for him when he gets lonely, just because he knows that i still really care for him. that made me take a step back and think about what a foolish thing i'm doing right now.

over all the things i wanna be, i don't wanna be his second fuckin choice.
sorry for the swearing. i only swear on writings, when i'm really upset. i don't swear at people in reality.

i know me and my heart has had issues. some days i feel like i never wanna talk to him, then somedays i feel like i want him to be my shoulder to lean on. but now i've made my decision. i don't want him in my life anymore. period. i just need to be strong. even so, it would be nice to meet him for the last time and tell it to his face. the pain is less like that. much less than the pain where i simply text him and say that i don't wanna see him anymore. i know how that feels, to be left like that. he did that to me and i wouldn't want to do it back to him. i belive in 'You get what you give'. i wouldn't want someone to do that to me again.

moving on. it's like a bitter vegetable. it doesn't taste good, but it's good for you. but unfortunately, sometimes we choose to eat candy, which may taste sweet but in the end, it will rot your teeth and hurt u.

the feeling is like getting a tooth pulled out. after the dentist pulls it, you’re relieved. But how many times do you run your tongue over the spot where it once was ? Probably a hundred times a day. Just because it was hurting you, doesn’t mean you don’t notice it. It leaves a gap, and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly. It’s going to take a while, but it always takes some time. Should you have kept the tooth? No, because it was causing you pain. Pulling the tooth was the right decision, but it’s still going to hurt.

"Ya Allah, tabahkan hatiku ini. Jauhkan dia dariku jika itu yang terbaik untukku"


amin .

crying lightning

i'm home, alone.
it's raining, it's pouring.
it's scary
thunder growling every 10 seconds
the wind is so violent,
rattling the windows
the neighbour's dogs are barking
the electricity went out a few times.
suddenly
the sounds of the front gate screeching
sounds of scratching on the front door
the door swings open
she's home
mummy is back
now i feel
safe.

count your blessings

just because
you fail once,
doesn't mean your gonna
fail at everything.
keep trying, hold on,
and always,
always, always
believe in yourself,
because if you don't,
who will?

some days are better than others. my finals' results came out today and Alhamdulillah. i guess miracles do happen to the people who are patient and wait. just because i've been in a rough situation for the past few weeks, it doesn't mean that it will continue that way. sometimes things happen to make you stop and cherish to what you have and not worry about things that weren't meant for you in the first place. and to be frank, everything is getting along fine. and i like how things are working out between me and him. as friends. good friends :)

so today, i've learned to count my blessings

thankyou

sometimes, the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry in the first place.


thankyou :')


i guess u will always have a small special part in my ♥

**the strokes' new song rocks my socks! Albert Hammond Jr looked great in white

oasis

stop crying your heart out



i don't ever wanna feel like this ever again, please?

fragile

those minutes where i am alone, just me, my pillow and my pink monkey . i think . a lot . i think about everyone, everything, anything . the room is so silent, but my mind is so loud . it drives me crazy because the things i would never think about, i think about . sometimes, i hate it because it brings up things i rather never want to think about again . the split second before sleep is the most active second of my life .

no, i shouldn't

today i went out with someone who used to be very special to me. i guess he just wanted to catch up and try to become friends. honestly, i still have feelings for him, i will hold my hands up and admit that but i put on a smile and pretended to be cool when he arrived to pick me up.

so we went out to eat at jusco. the whole car ride was silent. i didn't know what to say and he just kept quiet too. in my mind, i had alot of things to say but i got nervous. well simply cause i haven't seen him for more than a year and we haven't been talking since december 2009.

there i was, making a complete fool out of myself, trying to be all friendly and kind asking how he was doing when all he did was answer my questions then stayed quiet . i was about to cry cause his face was emotionless

well hellooo, i'm the one thats supposed to be quiet and sad and gloomy bcos i still have feelings for him and that he's already moved on . he's the one thats supposed to be happy and cool bcos he's already moved on and has no feelings for me . i mean, i don't understand why he would ask me out and then just be silent while i struggle to be all cool and calm and force a smile across my face . the whole time we were eating, i text-ed emira nabila bcos i really wanted to cry and just go back home . after we ate, he sent me back.

once i arrived, i went to my room and called emira and told her everything. after that, i text-ed him and told him what i felt and as usual, he didn't reply. i wished emira was here so atleast i have someone to lean on. it kinda sucks facing this with no one at home to hug and just cry loudly.

you know why i held on to him for so long? because i'm scared something so great won't happen again.

i guess we'll never be able to just be friends. this is the last time i'd ever want to see him again . but i won't ever forget him though . he used to be so special to me . i feel horrible . the feeling where i just need my bestfriend.

right now, i have lost the slightest interest towards the opposite sex until who knows when.

sometimes being alone gives you space to grow . sometimes its hard to grow when you're too close to someone . remember that trees are planted far from each other so they can spread their branches and mature.

manis

eeee cantiknyaaaa lah hai Lisa Surihani dkt ABP tadi. sngt sngt sngt manis. congratulations Lisa ♥

should i ?

i hate that u texted me but i couldn't resist to reply with kind words

above all the things that i hate, i hate the fact that i still care

Nineteen minutes

“If you gave someone your heart and they died, did they take it with them? Did you spend the rest of forever with a hole inside you that couldn’t be filled?”

—	Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult

i am soooo gonna buy this book. ♥ J.P :)

funny bones

Yeay yeay seronok tengok Maharaja Lawak. Seronok tgk balik those contestants that were actually funny, unlike Raja Lawak where some of em even made me wonder how did they even manage to get on the show. Maharaja Lawak really tickled my funny bones. tapi ada lah sikit2 yang lawak tak berapa nak lawak tapi not a majority of em. I'm rooting for Nabil (despite his controversies) cause well obviously his jokes were laughable. i'm also rooting for Jozan and sepah. Amir tu dah boleh keluar dah patutnya. anyways, can't wait for next week's show.

ehh dah alang alang tulis ni, i'd like to say that the movie Hop was awesomeeee, like seriously ! Funny and undeniably really really cute ! especially the scene at Fred's sister's play. well it was also cool that the bunny had a British accent and James Marsden was kind of handsome. In short words, two thumbs up !


so the day i saw this movie with my cousin last Thursday, i couldn't resist stepping into Zara. It was soooo exciting to see Zara being so colourful for it's Spring collection. i mean usually i get like mad going in there, but this time i was getting a sugar rush even before stepping in. it was like love at first sight when i saw this orange boyfriend shirt paired with a plain pink tank top inside which i couldn't resist and bought.

but the moment i got home, i realised the tank top was like senget. the sides of the tank top had slits and when i wore them, one slit wasn't on the side at all. nak masuk ke tengah dah. for goodness sake, i couldn't even tell if it was designed that way or not. nak kata 'ter' but it was Zara. nak sedapkan hati, i kept saying to myself, ini fashion. sengaja ni, sengaja -______-'